I woke up in the middle of the night last night in the most horrid pain of my life. Ive had kidney stones, gall stones, sprained ankles and bruised tail bones, and I would take ANY of that again over the pain I had last night. I would rather go through natural, unmedicated labor and delivery than go through the pain I did last night ever again. It felt like my arm was bring ripped off my body at the shoulder. There was nothing I could do to make it stop or dull it. I tried to lay it down and take all pressure off of it, that didnt help, I tried to prop it up on my side, that did nothing. Finally I put an ice pack on it held in place by a pillow, and after that for over an hour, it dulled enough to allow me to move it from the elbow down. At least it was something. That allowed me to get a few hours of sleep and not waste 100s of dollars going to the ER. I went to the doctor at 8am thinking he was going to tell me it was just a pinched nerve, but apparently it was a bit of a bigger deal than that. I tore the muscle that holds your arm in place. Its a mild tear, but the usual treatments involves a cortisol shot, and strong pain killers, that since Im pregnant, are not an option. So I was sent home with instructions to ice it all the time and make sure to still use the arm. Apparently should I NOT use the arm, the muscle could heal incorrectly and I could get "frozen arm" where I would lose some of the mobility of my arm that couldnt be corrected without surgery. Luckily after icing it all day, the pain has begun to subside, thank god! I couldnt go another night in that much pain!
I still dont know what to do about a name for this baby should it be a girl. Ugh Ugh Ugh. Boys are already proving to be easier!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Lazy Sunday
Pretty good day today, didnt really do much. Matt and I decided this was a prefect day to do absolutely nothing. It was supposed to rain, but apparently the weathermen in this town are completely worthless, but relaxing was it ever. We dont have too many of these lazy days left in our future so we are trying to use them when we can.
We watched half of the second season of Orange is the new Black and did some laundry. We just nibbled on randomness all day and he made Spaghetti for dinner. My stomach did not appreciate it, but I did.
Every time I see the scene in Despicable Me where the girls go back to the orphanage, I get misty eyed. So depressing.
I wanted to get things done around the house in the coming weeks, but it appears that our brokeness has caught up with us much sooner than anticipated. So basically Im stuck here with no gas, low on food, and nothing to do but play with the dog and watch TV.
Heres to the long boring week ahead!
We watched half of the second season of Orange is the new Black and did some laundry. We just nibbled on randomness all day and he made Spaghetti for dinner. My stomach did not appreciate it, but I did.
Every time I see the scene in Despicable Me where the girls go back to the orphanage, I get misty eyed. So depressing.
I wanted to get things done around the house in the coming weeks, but it appears that our brokeness has caught up with us much sooner than anticipated. So basically Im stuck here with no gas, low on food, and nothing to do but play with the dog and watch TV.
Heres to the long boring week ahead!
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Ramblings
On April 4th we found out I am pregnant. Best news ever. This is shortly after they told us that the fertility meds were not working and I was possibly going to have to try something else. Good news, Good News.
One of the first things my mom said when she found out I was pregnant was "Well, dont gain too much weight!" Always pleasant that one.
Few things Ive learned in my short 4 months of pregnancy so far:
Women that say they love being pregnant are liars or need to have their heads examined.
9 months is wayy to long to wait for something for someone as impatient as myself.
RLS, Heartburn, Indigestion, cramps, constipation and nausea are the worst things ever.
Finding a Mamaroo used, is like pulling teeth.
My husband is awesome, sometimes completely unintentionally.
I have no idea what to name the baby if its a girl. No clue what-so-ever.
Im pretty sure its a girl.
Either sex Im sure will be blonde haired, Blue eyed, and have curls. I can already picture it.
Im pretty desperate to move lately. I am just so tired of it all. So very tired. The west side sucks, most of Cincinnati sucks. The poverty rate in Cincinnati is obscenely high, and statistically, whatever class you are born into in Cincinnati, you will be your entire life. The chance to better your standings are almost nill here (true story, look it up.) Really, Im pretty done with this country in general. You cant move anywhere here without being in almost constant danger. A woman beat a child with a tire iron at a Walmart in New Mexico (I think thats where it was) just because the child was Asian American. The shootings in Seattle, California, Colorado, Connecticut, you name it. Guns dont kill people, Americans kill people. In Canada, most everyone has a hunting gun, yet gun deaths are that much lower. In Sweden, everyone has to join the military at a specific age. They all take their guns with them when they are done. So every man in Sweden has an automatic rifle in his closet, and they have a nearly nill death rate. So why do Americans all feel the need to shoot anything that moves? Because Americans are stupid. I want out of this country. My dad is trying to get shipped to Europe, and I have told my husband, my mother, and anyone that will listen, that if that were to happen, we would be moving with them without question. I can deal with my mother if need be. Especially for the sake of Western Europe.
If you ever need to feel really bad about yourself, Just make sure you're unemployed, usually too sick or tired to clean up around the house and make dinner, and have no chance of being employed for roughly the next year. Dont shower till the sun goes down, and dont leave the house for a minimum of 3 weeks. Also, a few other things: Read the blog of someone you life envy, pref someone that gets to travel incessantly. Check the Instagram and Facebook of someone that is getting everything that you've ever wanted... and to top it all off, they are sweet as pie. I mean, cant they at least be bitchy so you can hate them? Nope. Rather, they have to be happy and grateful and super awesome so you feel nothing but happy for them. It will make you feel even worse about yourself. I mean, c'mon, at least LET me hate you. Gah!
Im really trying not to let things like the aforementioned to affect me. I have a lot to be happy about right now, and its absolutely awesome. But just because you have things to be happy about, doesnt mean the chemical imbalance in your brain is going to go "Oh, well thats awesome, let me correct myself right quick so you can enjoy it!" Rather, you feel more miserable BECAUSE you feel depressed when good things are happening to you. For example: Im pregnant after 2 years of trying, I have a house and I can afford food most days *not always*. I have a handful of good friends, and a select group of best friends. Matt got a new job (finally) with better pay. Nothing to feel bad about except the size and current condition of my house. But I find myself feeling bad that a) Im poor as balls, b) my wardrobe leave everything to be desired c) B is partially due to my weight d) that this house is beyond tiny and we out grew it years ago, and with the new addition to the family, its just going to get worse. e) that I am not more traveled, which is a direct result of A.
Trying to stay optimistic, things are going to be awesome. Im going to finish school, get a job at P&G and everything will work out the way I want it to in the end. Right?
One of the first things my mom said when she found out I was pregnant was "Well, dont gain too much weight!" Always pleasant that one.
Few things Ive learned in my short 4 months of pregnancy so far:
Women that say they love being pregnant are liars or need to have their heads examined.
9 months is wayy to long to wait for something for someone as impatient as myself.
RLS, Heartburn, Indigestion, cramps, constipation and nausea are the worst things ever.
Finding a Mamaroo used, is like pulling teeth.
My husband is awesome, sometimes completely unintentionally.
I have no idea what to name the baby if its a girl. No clue what-so-ever.
Im pretty sure its a girl.
Either sex Im sure will be blonde haired, Blue eyed, and have curls. I can already picture it.
Im pretty desperate to move lately. I am just so tired of it all. So very tired. The west side sucks, most of Cincinnati sucks. The poverty rate in Cincinnati is obscenely high, and statistically, whatever class you are born into in Cincinnati, you will be your entire life. The chance to better your standings are almost nill here (true story, look it up.) Really, Im pretty done with this country in general. You cant move anywhere here without being in almost constant danger. A woman beat a child with a tire iron at a Walmart in New Mexico (I think thats where it was) just because the child was Asian American. The shootings in Seattle, California, Colorado, Connecticut, you name it. Guns dont kill people, Americans kill people. In Canada, most everyone has a hunting gun, yet gun deaths are that much lower. In Sweden, everyone has to join the military at a specific age. They all take their guns with them when they are done. So every man in Sweden has an automatic rifle in his closet, and they have a nearly nill death rate. So why do Americans all feel the need to shoot anything that moves? Because Americans are stupid. I want out of this country. My dad is trying to get shipped to Europe, and I have told my husband, my mother, and anyone that will listen, that if that were to happen, we would be moving with them without question. I can deal with my mother if need be. Especially for the sake of Western Europe.
If you ever need to feel really bad about yourself, Just make sure you're unemployed, usually too sick or tired to clean up around the house and make dinner, and have no chance of being employed for roughly the next year. Dont shower till the sun goes down, and dont leave the house for a minimum of 3 weeks. Also, a few other things: Read the blog of someone you life envy, pref someone that gets to travel incessantly. Check the Instagram and Facebook of someone that is getting everything that you've ever wanted... and to top it all off, they are sweet as pie. I mean, cant they at least be bitchy so you can hate them? Nope. Rather, they have to be happy and grateful and super awesome so you feel nothing but happy for them. It will make you feel even worse about yourself. I mean, c'mon, at least LET me hate you. Gah!
Im really trying not to let things like the aforementioned to affect me. I have a lot to be happy about right now, and its absolutely awesome. But just because you have things to be happy about, doesnt mean the chemical imbalance in your brain is going to go "Oh, well thats awesome, let me correct myself right quick so you can enjoy it!" Rather, you feel more miserable BECAUSE you feel depressed when good things are happening to you. For example: Im pregnant after 2 years of trying, I have a house and I can afford food most days *not always*. I have a handful of good friends, and a select group of best friends. Matt got a new job (finally) with better pay. Nothing to feel bad about except the size and current condition of my house. But I find myself feeling bad that a) Im poor as balls, b) my wardrobe leave everything to be desired c) B is partially due to my weight d) that this house is beyond tiny and we out grew it years ago, and with the new addition to the family, its just going to get worse. e) that I am not more traveled, which is a direct result of A.
Trying to stay optimistic, things are going to be awesome. Im going to finish school, get a job at P&G and everything will work out the way I want it to in the end. Right?
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