Ive been wanting to write this for a while. I dont like to bombard people with advice, but I am always happy to give it when asked (sometimes unsolicited, but I give unsolicited opinions more than advice). I discovered during the baby process (conception through pregnancy, L&D and the first weeks) that there is a LOT of stuff no one tells you. A lot of it is probably just stuff they dont think about, but to me, its stuff I wont be forgetting any time soon! SO I thought I would write a blog/birth story to fill in some details for my 'mom to be' friends! Some of it you may already know, and some of it you may not, so take it at face value and disregard the rest! Do try to remember, every delivery/hospital/doctor/baby is different, so my experiences may be NOTHING like yours. Also, Im aware I dont know ANYTHING let alone EVERYTHING. Take this all with a grain of salt! Here we go!
First of all, You are holding WAYYY more water than you think you are. I did not realize this. Now, part of my problem was my mild Preeclampsia, so I was gaining like 2-3lbs of water a week at the end which is part of the reason for all of my discomfort. It sucks while you're pregnant, but it sucks even more the week AFTER you give birth. Two days after Robin was born, I swelled up to more than twice my size from the waist down. My ankles, feet, and legs were so swollen I couldnt bend them without pain and burning throughout. It sucked! However, that goes away within a week, as does ALL of your water weight! Within 10 days of delivery, I was 40lbs lighter. So really I gained only 10lbs of weight no including baby (who was another almost 8lbs). It was AWESOME being nearly able to wear pre pregnancy jeans 2 weeks after delivery! Heres a pic of my poor swollen foot/ankle/leg the day after delivery! Sexy, right? Yeaa, Cankles make you hot, I know.
Secondly: This swelling is not all about vanity. One awful aspect I did not know about was vaginal swelling. We figured out in August that I was a bit swollen in the nether regions because sex became impossible, literally. It was way too painful for BOTH of us, so it was off the table the entire third trimester. It happens. No biggie (well, for me anyway, he got a bit cranky.) Again, that is not the issue here. When I got to the hospital, since I was induced, they were going to break my water. They called in a hospital doctor to see how dilated I was and possibly break my water. She checked my dilation, and it hurt a little but nothing intolerable. She decided against breaking my water since I was only 2cm dilated. She checked the babys position with a portable ultrasound machine and since all was good, she left me to labor for a while. No biggie. They gave me my IV (which took 5 tries to get in. 5 painful tries) and then the fluids and the pitocin (the drug to cause labor). I had been laboring for days apparently without feeling a thing (thank you water!) and my contractions were 2 min apart.... but I still didnt feel a thing. A few hours later, my personal doctor came in and decided to see how far I had gotten since the morning. This is where the swelling comes into play. I was already extremely swollen and since I was being pumped with fluids, it had apparently gotten worse. Little did I know! My doctor went to check my dilation.... and it was like being fisted by the incredible hulk. I cannot describe the pain any more than that. I screamed, cried, and sounded like I was in natural labor- and I felt like it! and sadly, they couldnt stop once they had started, so it took 2 nurses to hold me down for them to finish the exam- all to find out I was still only 2cm dilated. I cried for the next 30 min. After that, my doctor refused to check me again until I had an epidural since I was so swollen and it was too painful. I do not wish that pain on any of you ladies! I would honestly rather go through contractions again than go through that exam one more time! Horrible! However, silver lining and all that- going through all those contractions and all that pain before the epidural got me from 2cm to 5cm in like 2 hours, so go as long as you think you CANT to get you further! It sucks, but so would 3 days of labor!
If you are induced, do not let them break your water unless it is absolutely necessary! The reason I was not feeling the contractions at all, is because your water equalizes the pressure of contractions! The moment that water breaks, you will feel EVERYTHING! And since I had been having them for a few weeks, I didnt get to ease into them! I went from feeling nothing to fullblown contractions instantly once my water broke. I had to pee, so I had them unhook me, a waddled to the bathroom, and as I stood up, I felt what I thought was a kick- then suddenly- WOOSH. It took me a second to realize what had happened. I tried to walk to the bathroom door (in the worlds largest bathroom btw) and after 2 steps... another big WOOSH. The nurses helped me into a rocking chair with the worlds largest maxi pad (seriously, the thing is the size of a legal pad and as thick as a baking dish!) Within 2 min contractions started and within 5 min they hurt like hell. Ive heard contractions described 100 different ways, but the most accurate description is really strong period cramps. Within 30 min I was yelling for my epidural.... which brings me to my next topic...
Sadly for me, I wanted an Epidural at the WORST time. There was one anesthesiologist on the floor and at that moment, 3 emergency c-sections. After an hour and a half of my groan-yelling every 2 min, they finally had a doctor free to give me my epidural... and it was heaven. They kicked everyone out of the room, Matt included (I was sure this would bother me.... it didnt) and she went to town. They first give you a numbing shot which hurts a little, but no more than a bee sting. Then they give you the epidural. Its pretty pain free, however, one thing they dont tell you is they WILL hit some sort of nerve. It wont hurt, but you will feel it rush through every nerve on one side of your body, and your leg will do a sudden high kick without your help. It scared the living hell out of me. Didnt know I was signing up to be a Rockette! On the downside, they tape all the eupdural stuff to your back with bandages and a sticky spray, so when they remove it, its like removing the worlds stickiest, largest band-aid. It sucks. But you'll be so happy to have had it, you wont give 2 shits.
Everyone tells you that you wont sleep when the baby is born. Truth be told, I slept less while pregnant than when she got here. Especially the night before I was induced. I have this stupid quirk- if I have something to do the next day before 10am, I will NOT sleep that night. So, since we had to be at the hospital at 6:45am, I was wide awake all night. WIDE awake. When it was all said and done, I was awake for 42 hours. By the time we were pushing, I had been awake for more than 36 hours. So while we were in labor, I was tired. SO tired. Once they gave me the Epidural, they rolled me onto my side to let it disperse, and I passed out immediately for about an hour. They then rolled me onto my other side and I quietly laid there while visitors rolled back into the room. ( I ended up kicking them all out, including my mom and Matts mom because I was drugged up, tired, and was going to start pushing soon- and none of them would shut the fuck up. They were discussing things like Florida traffic and weather. Nothing a woman about to push a baby out of her glory hole wants to think about in any sense of the word.
After my brief nap, they came in and checked me again (this time without my screaming, crying and thrashing. I didnt feel a thing) and while I had NO idea what was going on (my brain was still asleep although my eyes were open) and told me I was dilated to 10 and we would start pushing soon.... it was very like this:
They said soon, which turned out to be another 2 hours away.
Being as tired as I was, once we started pushing, I would fall into a deep sleep between each push. So I would push for a min, (3ish times) and then I would fall into a deep sleep for 3 min. Wash, rinse, repeat. Dont let anyone tell you that you will only push for 15 min. If they tell you that they are a fucking liar or have like 3 kids. I said that to a nurse (that I was expecting like 15 min pushing) and she laughed and said only people that have multiple kids already will push for that long. We ended up pushing for nearly 2 hours. Let me tell you of the headache you will end up with after 2 hours of pushing. ....
Finally they call in the doctor. Oh what? You thought doctors were present while you're pushing? Thats a big ole whopping no. They called the doctor in for the final 3 or 4 pushes just to catch the baby and thats about it. Apparently I got an Episiotomy, but I had no idea at the time, didnt feel a thing. There was a push and the babys head was out, I had no idea. Not only was I so dazed from lack of sleep (I had no idea what was happening, it was like I was on drugs), but no one ever said she was crowning, so I didnt know how far out she was. My doctor told me "after this next push, you need to look down here". I tried, my gut was in the way, so I sat up on my elbows, which was apparently enough of a push to send her flying out of my vag at high velocity. Suddenly, there was a small, sticky, dark purple blob being thrown at me, and I didnt even know what century I was in. I couldnt wrap my head around what was happening, so for me, sadly, there never was this grand "here she is!" moment. It took me a good 20-30 min to figure out what exactly was happening. It felt like I was watching a movie. They sewed me back up (this is how I discovered I had an episiotomy), and then family was let back in.
Yes I pooped on the table. Matt told me. No one cared. Especially me. And if you think not eating before labor to keep from pooping on the table is a good idea... you are dead wrong. I had 2 BLT's the morning before we went to the hospital (they told me to eat before I came) and thats all I had the whole day. And by the time she came out, I wanted nothing more than to eat. I hadnt had anything in 18 hours and I was dying of hunger. You've never had such an amazing turkey sandwich in your life.
DO NOT be afraid to request a specific post partum room! When we had our tour of the hospital ( I really recommend this) they showed us one of the post L&D rooms and I decided I wanted THAT room specifically. It was at the end of the hall (which is good and bad) and it was a bigger room (we had a TON of visitors. 15 in one day) and it had views of Clifton. It was awesome. I wrote the room number down and asked them for it when we got there, and they happily obliged us! Happy girl! ;o)
